ANGELS FOREVER.

Tough day. It was Tuesdays and I came early to work...BUT I WAS FEELING BLOATED.

I have been experiencing heavy diarrhea and I didnt want to be absent so I forced myself to work.

I started my shift by 11.00 PM and had to log out a couple of time from my station because I had to visit the comfort room.

What a mess.

I looked like a dried vegetable.

SHARM: I think you should go home.

ME: As if I can, I'm already here. Besides, it's already 3:00, I can still go on.

SHARM: Suit yourself.

In short, I went on and answered calls. UHG. I wasnt able to eat my lunch. I didnt want to eat. I will just vommit if I did.

THE NEXT DAY.

I woke up. Feeling really exhausted. 

I went to the comfort room.

And again.

Again.

Again.

And again.

At this point I was feeling numb. I felt like a paper. The last discharge seemed to be transparent already and my mom was alarmed, so she asked me not to go to work even I f I was already dressed.

We went straight to UST Hospital Emergency Room.

It was chaotic. People in pain. People bleeding. And a woman, 89 years old just met a comatose is being prepared for an operation.

God. They asked me to give a sample of my feces for them to examine. They took 5-CCs of blood from me.

Good thing it was just a stupid viral infection.

As we walked home, I can't help but think of all the things I've done.

I have been bad. REAL BAD.

A lot of things went on in my head. 

Death. Life. Work tomorrow.

I need to get away. I am feeling sick, and my feet was dragging me.

I can't help but think of the woman who was rushed to ER a while ago.

ME: 89 years old. Was she happy? Fulfilled? Now that she's on the edge of dying. What if I'm the one in her place... would I consider operation? Or just die.

Dreams. I need to accomplish my them before I die.

I dont want to be taking calls for the rest of my life. I know there is something else for me out there.

I know I'm still gonna be a star.