Torn?

"Once a group all together
Now is lost, gone forever

Fighting and lies tore us apart
Now there's a hole in the middle of my heart

We loved each other
We were like sisters and brothers
Sisters and brothers have to fight
But in the end they see the light
Doesn't that mean once again we'll be together
Or will we be gone lost forever...

-Stepha Lee 

 --------------------

So.. there's something wrong with me and my friends. Seems like we're disconnected.

I wonder if we will all be friends til we get old, or til we have jobs or something. We have gone through so much. Heartbreaks, hardships and joy. 

But, all of a sudden, everyone seems busy. It's not that we seek each other's attention. It's just sometimes, it feels like a lame excuse.

We were inseparable. But now it just looks like another rusty wire. It breaks apart.

Bea. 

Quite insecure, she just don't want o admit it. Sometimes she's so full of herself, she can't hold on.

Josua.

What's wrong with you nowadays?  You give us icy looks. You throw painful words. I hope you realize that we have feelings and egos. We are not you emotional slave. Why do we have to adjust to your feelings? Kaya nga kami nandito eh. Kaya nga tayo magkakaibigan. But for you to judge us. That's a different story. Minsan nakakasakit ka ng hindi mo alam. Iniisip mo lang sarili mo.

But I understand both of you.
And if you ever read this, which you may judge as a backstabbing post, I DON'T CARE. 

This is how I feel. 

And I sometimes wonder why I can't tell it straight to your faces. Maybe I just don't want to hurt your feelings. Maybe, I'm scared. Scared that you'll be mad at me, and seeing myself with no friends like you...i don't know. I just can't live life without you guys, but if it's like this? I don't think It's gonna work out. 

Truth is, I've been dying to post the truth. 
And the truth? We've been backstabbing for the past months. Bea talks to me about josua. And I talk to her with the same problem. Josua then talks to me about Bea's shit. And I also complain. I wonder what the both of you...Josua and Bea, have been talking about me...whenever I turn my back. Hmmm...


We used to be so in sync. 
I wonder what's happening.




Are we confused? 
Frustrated?
Lonely?
Mad?
Whatever it is, it's tearing us apart.






I miss my best friends. :(